The Whole World Laughed at Trump at the United Nations

Pulling off a well-received standup routine isn't easy in New York City. That's especially true when your jokes are presumably being written by a warmonger like John Bolton, who hasn't cracked a smile since his 2015 New York Times op-ed, "To Stop Iran’s Bomb, Bomb Iran." But President Trump managed the unthinkable at Tuesday morning's United Nations General Assembly meeting, even if he was too oblivious to notice that the rest of the world was laughing at him, not with him.

The president played all his old hits—"the ideology of globalism" is very bad and a direct contradiction to his interpretation of "patriotism," which is very good; he really, truly respects and admires his good friend, Chinese president Xi Jinping, but wishes China would stop its abusive trade practices; he praised Saudi Arabia's "bold new reforms" while pooh-poohing Iran's "brutal regime"; and he made sure to add, "Moving forward, we are only going to give foreign aid to those who respect us and [are] frankly our friends." Rather than watching the entire thing, you can glean the same insights from these photos:

Then there was North Korea. This year, the president noted that "the missiles and rockets are no longer flying in every direction"—which is somehow an exaggeration of what was already a genuinely terrifying geopolitical situation. From last year's speech:

"The United States has great strength and patience, but if it is forced to defend itself or its allies, we will have no choice but to totally destroy North Korea. Rocket Man is on a suicide mission for himself and for his regime. The United States is ready, willing and able, but hopefully this will not be necessary."

Thankfully, today the only Rocket Man we recognize is Elton John's sample in Young Thug's "High." Which is a marked improvement over being on the precipice of, I don't know, World War III.